like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
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