We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm both gender and math confused
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
