She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
