Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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