Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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