my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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