i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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