In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
