she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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