i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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