We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
