What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
