i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
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i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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