White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
