I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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