if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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