someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
