He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He better not be in your backpack
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
