I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
