i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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