You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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