She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Randomize
