i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
