shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
