if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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