Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
