I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
