Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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