My boss' voice literally gives me gas
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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