DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
