you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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