JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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