True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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