with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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