if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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