Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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