Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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