ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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