He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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