return my video game
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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