I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
