We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
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I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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