Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
