her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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