She is in my trunk
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
no. you can't hotbox the world.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
