dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
