im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
