I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
