Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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