I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
