Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
