It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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