He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Randomize
