Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
