It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize