who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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