Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
