We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
