So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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