she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
